


How To Lose Sleep

by InsomicAlleyCat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ? - Freeform, Crack, F/F, F/M, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, Matchmaking, Multi, Shitstorm waiting to happen, Skype, Texting, Ton of Ace characters, but no one is aro, crackships, group chats, i have ideas for, im still writing this instead of sleeping, maybe a, rarepairs, sleepover, things could change, we havent had a deep convo yet, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomicAlleyCat/pseuds/InsomicAlleyCat
Summary: SmolBirb created Volleyball gaysSmolBirb added 35 peopleAngel™: Welcome to The Dawn of The EndDone™: Kiyoko I'm so sorrySugaMomma: You should be.





	1. The Dawn of The End

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 11:40pm, I have some regrets

_ **Karasuno** _

 

 SmolBirb:but Daaaadddddd

Tsuffering:Yeah  _Dad_

Done™:We are not having every team we've ever met in one groupchat

Done™: Thats too many people and not enough adults to manage it

MilkItAll™:it could be fun though

Tsuffering™: Only when I get to see Oikawa whip your ass into shape

SugaMomma:  _ **Language**_

enNoShit: it could be better to share info eith other teams if we had a big chat 

Done™:Not you too Ennoshita

Done™: Fine, but if anything goes wrong Hinata is held responsible

SmolBirb:gotcha!

 

_**Volleyball Gays** _

 

_SmolBirb created Volleyball gays_

 

_SmolBirb added 35 people_

 

Angel™: Welcome to The Dawn of The End

Done™: Kiyoko I'm so sorry

SugaMomma: You should be.

SugaMomma: You were the only one against this idea

ImAlwaysThisNice: the fuck is this

SugaMomma:  _ **Watch your fucking language**_

ImAlwaysThisNice: the heck is this

SugaMomma: Better

MilkItAll: Hi Tetsu

ImAlwaysThisNice: Hi Tobi!!!!!

Matsupepe: Prepare for Trouble

Makkidoge: Make it Double

Tired™: sigh

FightMe: I understand Watari

FlagPole: Yakuuuuu

QueenOfAliens: Yahoo~!

Hoot: Oya oya?

ImAlwaysThisNice: Oya oya oya

_WildDog, IwaizuMom and CravingDeath have left the chat_

 

_SmolBirb added WildDog, Iwaizumom and CravingDeath to the chat_

 

SmolBirb: No One Leaves

Kitten: It's 3am

Kitten: Go to fucking sleep asshats

Kitten: Why are you all up at fucking 4am


	2. Spelling Errors

**_Volleyball gays_ **

 

_[5pm]_

nariTaMate: My whole family had an existential crisis in a restaurant

PuffHead: same

nariTaMate: It wasn't good.

FucBoi: fucking

Fucboi; i'm stod

Fucboi: in the aisle of the corner store

Fucboi: and the first thing i read is

Fucboi: "My whole family had an existential crisis in a restaurant"

Tsuffering™: Classic

nariTaMate: I'm sorry

FucBoi: i don't blame you 

FucBoi: but

 

_[5:30pm]_

Yukie: Way to leave us on a cliffhanger

_[6pm]_

Fucboi: i was gonna send a pic of me stood in the aisle but my phone died and I just got home.

BuzzBuzz: Woah

BuzzBuzz: tf is htis

SmolBirb: htis

MilkItAll: htis

Lightening: htis

FucBoi: htis

SugaMomma: htis

Tsuffering: htis

KazooKid: htis

StarBoy: htis

Glass©®:htis

Matsupepe: htis

Makkidoge: htis

BuzzBuzz: this is abuse

Done™: sigh

Tired™: sigh

FightMe: sigh

IwaizuMom: What even is this chat

Done™: I don't know

 

_[2am]_  

Hoot: what if the g in gif was silent

CravingDeath: We aren't doing this again Bokuto-san

Hoot: but ehat if it was

Yukie: Can anyone teach me english?  
Yukie: If I get a failing grade again I have to take supplement exam instead of going to camp

ImAlwaysThisNice: Kenma's good at english  
ImAlwaysThisNice: He can teache you

Mowhawk: teache  
Mowhawk: fancy

ImAlwaysThisNice: shut up yamamoto

Kitten: I can teach you Yukie

ImAlwaysThisNice: You'd tutor the manager of an opposing team but not your own captain

ImAlwaysThisNice: Kitten im hurt

Kitten: suck it up kuro

LuckyCharm: LOVERS TIFF

KazooKid: yui stop  
KazooKid: keep your shipping to miyagi

IwaizuMom: Keep it to Karasuno please

Done™: why the fuck are you all up

WildDog: *Y'all

ImAlwaysThisNice: Tokyo highschools man,  
Hoot: We never get any sleep

Done™: Wait Kinoshita, Michimiya why are you two up too

Done™: We have practice in the morning and if you're tired I'm doubling your practice

KazooKid:

LuckyCharm:

Matsupepe: pftt

Makkidoge: baaabbbeeee  
Makkidoge: come back to bed

Matsupepe: do you want a donut or not

Makkidoge: get me one then come back

IwaizuMom: I'm doubling your trsining tomorrow

Hoot: pft

Hoot: Miyagi parents are harsh  
CravingDeath: Bokuto.

CravingDeath: What did I say about staying up late for any reason.

Hoot:

Hoot: I'm sorry Akaashi

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made 6 spelling errors in this and probably more when writing it.
> 
>  
> 
> More evidence Kai cannot spell for shit


	3. The Roasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of paying attention in school.
> 
>  
> 
> Fuck you mr Davies

**_ Pretty Setters _ **

  
  
MilkItAll: Fuck you Oikawa

  
AlienQueen: I'm good thankds

  
SugaMomma: How many times do i have to say it  
SugaMomma: LANGUAGE

  
Sumu: it's been two hours  
Sumu: you two are still arguing  
Sumu: Suga-san, whats their record

  
CravingDeath: five

  
SugaMomma: five

  
Swanmom: five

  
Sumu:  
Sumu: fucking hell

  
Kitten: You get used to it

  
MilkItAll: Your shit at arguing Oikawa-san

  
Shirabae: You're*

  
Sumu: Still a goody two shoes

  
AlienQueen: if im shit you're the worst of the worst

  
MilkItAll: Choke on a dick  
MilkItAll: If you can get any

  
SugaMomma: OH

  
SwanMom: OH

  
Shirabae: OH

  
Kitten: OH SHIT

  
AlienQueen: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YOUR SENPAI LIKE THAT

  
MilkItAll: whoever said i saw you as my senpai?

  
  
_AlienQueen has left the chat_

  
  
MilkItAll: :)

  
SugaMomma:  
SugaMomma: Fucking hell  
SugaMomma: I didn't know I had such aggressive kouhais

  
SwanMom: U sure

  
Shirabae: You absolutely sure?

  
Sumu: You completely and utterly sure?

  
SugaMomma: Fuck y'all

  
SwanMom: Language

  
Sumu: Did you just use y'all unironically

  
SugaMomma: Fight me 2nd gen pretty setter

  
Sumu: at least i get more gametime

  
SugaMomma: wow  
SugaMomma: stooping to Oikawa's level now?  
SugaMomma: maybe you might even lower yourself to Ushijima's blunt, soul crushing level

  
SwanMom: I can't deny that

  
Shirabae: maybe even tendou-san's

  
Sumu: Is this roast Miya day?

  
SugaMomma: Oh I'd never roast Osamu, I'm not a monster

  
  
_Sumu has left the chat_

  
  
Kitten: We've lost two comrades today  
Kitten: Not sure if they'll be missed

  
PuffHead: Definately not

  
  
  
**_Volleyball Gays_**

  
  
ImAlwaysThisNice: Like I was saying, it's impossible not to get a metal salt from reacting an acid and a metal

  
FUTURENO1: but how does that work?

  
Done™:  
Done™: No offense Kuroo  
Done™: But I never knew you were this smart

  
Kitten: hes smart enough to be doing extra work in classes

  
SmolBirb: PLEASE TUTOR ME KUROO

  
ImAlwaysThisNice: Sure

  
SmolBirb: HA I HAVE A TUTOR FIGHT ME KAGEYAMA

  
ImAlwaysThisNice: He just started mumbling insults at Hinata

  
SugaMomma: and why are you with my official setter son?

  
MilkItAll: Mom he's my boyfriend  
MilkItAll: We've been dating since Golden Week

  
Kitten: Karasuno is so dense

  
Tsuffering™: don't group me with them

  
Kitten: You're the exception

  
BuzzBuzz: WHAT'D'YA SAY FURBALL?

  
Lightening: HAHHHH????????

  
Kitten: see?

 

_**Captains Squad** _

 

Done™: I'm done with this team

 

ImAlwaysThisNice: What'd they do this time

 

Done™: I walk into the club room and Hinata's on the top shelf, acting like a frightened cat while Noya and Tanaka are fucking dying on the floor and Kageyama is just stood in the back drinking milk and I just see a small spider on the bench next to Hinata's bag

 

Hoot: WHAT A SPIDER WHERE

 

ImAlwaysThisNice: bro

ImAlwaysThisNice: I love you, but really?

 

Sneky: Looks like Karasuno aren't the only dumb ones here

 

ImAlwaysThisNice: Take your fucking shit elsewhere asshat

 

FarmerMan: Here We Go Again™

Farmerman: *looks  @ the screen at the reader like on the Office*

 


	4. E X P O S E D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all I did write shit for this
> 
> just never finished them or posted them
> 
> have all of them at once

  
**Flying Crows**

  
  
Angel: Why are none of you at practice

  
SmolBirb: Im stuck in a closet with bakageyama  
SmolBirb: He doesnt have his phone

  
Lightening: Asahi needed help with homework

  
GlassHeart©®: I have too much homework and not enough time

  
SugaMomma: hahahahaha

  
nariTaMate: I'm in the gym waiting for everyone with Hisashi

  
BuzzBuzz: I have.......issues

  
Lightening: ^

  
SunshineChild: My teacher offered tutoring for a really difficult subject after school and I stayed for that because I really needed the help

  
Angel: That's understandable Hitoka, however the rest of you should be here minus Asahi and Noya.  
Angel: How did Hinata and Kageyama even get stuck in a closet?

  
Smolbirb: we were running from dadchi and suga  
Smolbirb: idk why bakageyama just dragged me along

  
Sugamomma: That's what you get for messing with us

  
Smolbirb: I did nothing!

  
Done™: He was talking to Kageyama

  
Smolbirb: what did he do?????

  
Kazookid: he set a trap for tsukishima in the clubroom but suga and daichi triggered it instead

  
Tsuffering™: exactly why i avoided the clubroom

  
MilkItAll: Fuck you dino boy

  
SugaMomma: Side note  
SugaMomma: We kinda stopped chasing you a while back

  
Done™: Suga No

  
Glass©®: Can't you keep off each other for just one day?

  
SunshineChild: ?????

 

  
**Volleyball Gays**

 

  
CravingDeath: guys watch this  
CravingDeath: *hits that g note*

  
Hoot: WHEN I WAS

  
ImAlwaysThisNice: A YOUNG BOY

  
StarBoy: MY FATHER

  
Satan: TOOK ME INTO

  
KazooKid: THE CITY

  
MilkItAll:  
MilkItAll: Fuck you Kinoshita

  
KazooKid: ha

  
TrashKing: Kuroo, Bokuto and Tendou I understand  
TrashKing: but Yamayama, Tobio-chan and Kinoshita?  
TrashKing: We got ourselves some closet emos here“ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 

Mohawk: what the FUCK is that

  
ImAlwaysThisNice: (｡･ω･｡)

  
Kitten: kuro stop

  
ImAlwaysThisNice: you dont own me

  
MilkItAll: Tetsu

  
ImAlwaysThisNice:

  
Creampuff: w h i p p e d

  
Sumu: cant say shit puffhead

  
SmolBirb: I FORGOT

 

  
** SmolBirb added pRotect, Precious, Precious#2, and 4 others **

 

  
SmolBirb: DATEKO

  
Precious: Hello!

  
Precious#2: How is everyone?

  
LuckyCharm: o m g

  
TrashKing: so,,,,,pure

  
KamaSuckMe: I have receipts that say otherwise

  
Salt: Kamasaki dont be mad that we forgot to buy snacks for you when we ran to the store

  
KamaSuckMe: I want to be mad but I cant be mad at you

  
pRotect: Kamasaki has a soft spot for futakuchi confirmed

  
sCREAM: i thoight it was obvips?

  
Salt: what next  
Salt: we start listing the most obvious cryptids in order

  
SmolBirb: Hi Dateko!!!!!!  
SmolBirb: Welcome to the Groupchat!!!!!!!!!!!

  
Aone: （＾ｖ＾）

  
Done™: If any of you corrupt them i will hunt you down

  
MakkiDoge: Yes dad

  
Matsupepe: Sorry dad

 

 

**First Years: **

 

 **SmolBirb** : hey Goshiki?

 

 **FUTURENO1** : yeah?

 

 **Tsuffering™** : that username is painful to look at

 

 **SmolBirb** : how often is your practice?

 

FUTURENO1: Weekdays with wednesdays off and on saturday

 

SmolBirb:...

 

FUTURENO1: ehy?

 

Starboy: We have the most practices out of all the teams we've played

 

Sleep: holy shit

Sleep: how do you survive

 

SmolBirb: It's just more practice!

 

Turnip: how are you not exhausted on sunday

 

Tsuffering™: He does extra practices with the dairy queen on Sundays

 

MilkItAll: Fuck you Tsukishima

 

Tsuffering™: no thanks i've got eita

 

FUTURENO1: Eita? as in Semi? WHAT

 

StarBoy: TSUKKKIIIIIIIIIII

 

Tsuffering™: nothing

Tsuffering™: I said nothing

 

 

** Volleyball Gays **

 

FUTURENO1: SEMI EXPLAIN

 

SwanMom: Did Kei sell me out on something

 

FUTURENO1: KINDA

FUTURENO1: HE SOLD BOTH OF YOU OUT

 

SwanMom: and that's my cue to leave

 

Tsuffering™: I'm not sorry 

 

QueenOfAliens: The fuck

 

SmolBirb: HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN

 

SugaMomma: Did someone else hook up i stg

 

Done™: who was it

 

Tsuffering™: Hello Father

 

SwanMom: I would say I've tainted your child but it's obvious who tops

 

_**Precious added Sumu and Samu** _

 

Precious: Pay up

 

Sumu: Which one

Sumu: tell me who the fuck was it

Sumu: I could be loosing 500 or 1000 here

 

Samu: Semi and Tsukishima

Samu: Read up you incompetent brother

 

Sumu: FUCK

Sumu: Samu,,,,,,Could you,,,,maybe,,,,,,,buy me lunch for the next few weeks?

 

Samu:No

_Samu has gone offline_


	5. the FEELS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all school is tomorrow so expect more chapters cause im gonna stop paying attention in class to write because its so goddamn boring

**Volleyball Gays**

_[3am]_

 

ImAlwaysThisNice: I just realized

ImAlwaysThisNice: Shrimpy added 30+ people to this chat

ImAlwaysThisNice: who in the actual fuck is in this chat

 

SmolBirb: Well

SmolBirb: we jave shiratorizawa, dateko, some nekoma, bokuto-san and akaashi-san, karasuno, aoba johsai, most of the managers, terushima from johzenji and the miya twins

 

ImAlwaysThisNice: jesus fuck

 

Done™: this is why i said this was a bad idea

 

** Flying Crows **

_[4am]_

 

Sunshine: HELP

Sunshine: FEELINGS HAVE BEEN CAUGHT

 

_[7am]_

 

MilkItAll: Join the club

 

SmallBirb: Welcome

 

 SugaMomma: Shut the fuck up freak duo

 

MilkItAll: Sorry mom

 

SmolBirb: Sorry Mom

 

SugaMomma: Yachi who is it 

 

Sunshine: WELL

Sunshine: YOU KNOW JOHZENJI'S THIRD YEAR MANAGER

Sunshine: THE ONE WITH THE REALLY PRETTY BROWN HAIR

Sunshine: HER

 

SugaMomma: o shit 

 

Sunshine: I KNOW

 

_**Private Message Sunshine-Fucboi**_

 

 

 Sunshine: feelings have been caught for your manager

 

Fucboi: o shit

Fucboi: we have a whole team that can relate and help you

 

Sunshine: thank you terushima

Sunshine: how the holy hell do i confess

 

Fucboi: I

Fucboi: I have no clue

Fucbou: I'm working on that myself

 

Sunshine: we are siblings in suffering

 

Fucboi: agreed


	6. T r a i n  W r e c k

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yama is gay, Kenma plays LL, Moniwa and Onagawa aren't innocent, Oiks is in trouble and Kunimi is a pining mess
> 
> Oh also Daichi is Donechi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop this is a train wreck

**Flying crows**

BuzzBuzz: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

SmolBirb: ???

Lightening: WHO THE HELL IS PLAYING LOVE LIVE IN THE CHANGING ROOM

SmolBirb: thats probably kenma and kuroo down the hall

BuzzBuzz: WHY IS KENMA HERE

Starboy: He came to wait for me cause he's staying over  
Starboy: Kuroo's here for Kageyama

EnNoShit: So my fellow mother also has a boyfriend?  
EnNoShit: And I'm over here being single and alone?  
EnNoShit: Yama I'm hurt

Starboy: I'm Sorry ennoshita!  
Starboy; but Kenma is adorable

EnNoShit: and the man I'm going after is fucking oblivious and blind as fuck

BuzzBuzz: shit mom swore

EnNoShit: NO FUCKING SHIT  
EnNoShit: We are talking later

Starboy: ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

EnNoShit: Shut

**VolleyBall Gays**

Sleep: I feel like death

IwaizuMom: who hurt you  
IwaizuMom: i will kill them

Turnip: you and me both

Sleep: no one i just feel like shit  
Sleep: you know that feeling when all of your crushes have a crush on someone else and you aren't in the loop?  
Sleep: yeah

TrashKing: COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY

Sleep: I'm sad and pining

Turnip: I'm coming over

LuckyCharm: Awww

IwaizuMom: Yui no

Fluff: What is this  
Fluff: Moniwa why am i here

  
Precious#1: It's a groupchat!!!  
Precious#1: With other volleyball players!!!!

Kitten: why the fuck are you all up at 3am again

KamaSuckMe: Taro, Kana, why are you up

Fluff: You know exactly why I'm up

KamaSuckMe: I mean why are you on your phone

Fluff: You don't exactly do much when bottoming

Precious#1: Exactly why we're here

KamaSuckMe: You guys are still up there?

Precious#1: yep

TrashKing: I did not need to know that

Sleep: say that when you and Iwaizumi aren't pining over ‘Mr Refreshing' and ‘Thighchi’ in the changing rooms  
Sleep: Jesus

Glass©®: Hello

Glass©® Is now Jesus

Jesus: Who

SugaMomma: You  
SugaMomma: Now sleep  
SugaMomma: I need to talk to Oikawa~san here :)

TrashKing:  
TrashKing: shit

  
**Captains**

ImAlwaysThisNice: so

Done™: No  
Done™: No more  
Done™: It's 4am  
Done™: you've been ranting about Kageyama since 1am  
Done™: You only just shut up for ten minutes  
Done™: No more

ImAlwaysThisNice:

Done™: n o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> train wreck from start to finish
> 
> also heads up bnha chatfic gonna be comign your way soon
> 
>  
> 
> im gonna end up being a chatfic only writer cause i can't write serious shit for shit


End file.
